Wednesday, August 27, 2014

A Real Butthead Commercial From Kohler

The boss at Kohler India must be a real butthead to okay an extreme British accent for the company’s “hands-free hygiene” commercial.

Doesn’t s/he know the mleccha reputation the Brits have here?

Or was the choice made with just that in mind?

Kohler’s designers must have surely noticed that shit splatters, usually, directly into the region of the toilet bowl where they’ve placed the “hands-free hygiene” spout.

Only the first person to use it after a cleaning will escape a shit douche, and that fortunate soul can expect to have his/her bottom singed with residual chlorine or acid product. 

There is also the larger philosophical question of whether a squirt of water can, in fact, clean your bottom or merely redistribute shit.

The reason hygienists advise people to lower the toilet lid before flushing is that the usual gush of water sends a spout of microscopic shit particles up to eight feet into the air.

Then there is the clincher: if you got some shit on yourself would you clean it with a squirt of water or scrub it clean with your hands?

Finally, where does Kohler come off trying to disassociate play, share, joy, and love from the genital area?

As some of my friends from Brooklyn would say, ... well, perhaps that's better left unsaid!


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