Paging Don Draper

Corporate sponsors spend many millions of rupees to produce and air television commercials, so why are so many so daft? Consider the following:

Used Cars: The commercial shows a small white dog who chases cars until she is picked up by a Doberman called Dosco driving a used car. He says you can buy a used car with your eyes closed from the company in question.

The corporate honcho who signed off on this 1) went to Don Bosco (Dosco for short), and thinks the commercial is a hoot. 2) Owns the small white dog and Doberman used in the shoot. 3) Knows of secret research showing used car buyers think highly of talking dogs.

Gender Violence: The commercial shows a number of weeping boys being told “Boys don’t cry.” It ends with a man twisting a woman’s arm and a close up of her face crudely smeared in red.

The person who signed off on this 1) Has been influenced by vague psycho-babble; 2) Hopes the commercial will cause women beaters to have a quick cry to release their rage and reform; 3) Thinks that this makes the sponsoring corporation look progressive.

Voltas Air Conditioners: The commercial shows two men appreciative of a Voltas air conditioner, one identified as Murthy, the other speaking a TATA version of South Indian pidgin Hindi.

The person who signed off on this 1) Thinks South Indians speaking pidgin Hindi are irresistible pitchmen; 2) Has been told by TATA market researchers that South Indians speak pidgin Hindi to each other; 3) Has been paid a ton of black money to revive British-created perceptions of North-South differences that have blurred in independent India.

Volkswagen: The commercial shows stylized chameleons crossing the road and one carried away stuck to the front of a passing Volkswagen.

The person who signed off on this 1) Likes/dislikes chameleons; 2) Has no idea how to sell cars; 3) Works for Ford.

And finally:

TimesNow: Wide criticism of its strident, unbalanced approach to news has led TimesNow to respond with commercials that consist of snippets from its shows on various injustices. They end with the on-screen text: “We will raise our voice till this doesn’t change,”

The person who wrote the copy: 1) Is translating from sign language; 2) Does not know English; 3) Has been paid off by NDTV. [As it is, the text means the shouting will continue if things change; it should read: "We will raise our voice till this changes."]